verge of a miracle

I'm in Virginia! Aahhh...it's so nice, especially after such a busy summer!
A few days ago, I made an uncharacteristically last minute decision to fly up here and spend a week with my sisters before we head to Tennessee for Family Play Time (vacation). Dad was so sweet to get me a ticket (first class, no less!), but I think he knew it would free up a seat in the suburban for the long drive to TN. ;) I flew in to DC last night and will just stay here at both houses until they all drive down to TN next week. We're already having major fun up here. Dave and Kristen went out for a much needed date tonight, so before they left I took the 5 oldest kids to the store and let them pick out any treats they wanted. When D&K left, we watched a movie together and ate cookies, candy, and root beer floats! I'm pretty sure I'm the favorite aunt right now.

A couple of days before I left, good news came to us in the form of an email. A friend of ours who we've known for several years, just moved down to SA with his family. He's a doctor and is now stationed at Wilford Hall, which is my hospital. My dad and I were talking to him about a week ago and he asked us for any updates on my medical stuff and who my doctors were. I told him that we were definitely at a standstill because my neurologist won't listen to me or to my other doctors, and that he was not interested in trying to get me some real help. Our friend told us that he knew an amazing neurologist at Wilford Hall and that he would talk to him to see if he could help.
Long story short, our friend was able to meet with the neurologist and he agreed to take me on as a patient and and take over all my neurology care. This means that I never have to see my other neurologist again! This new doctor is a Christian and everyone I've talked to has had only good things to say about him. I am so excited... By now I know better than to get my hopes up about stuff like this, but I am just so relieved not to have to deal with my old doctor anymore. I was so frustrated with him and it made me give up on trying to get better. I have never blamed him for not knowing what to do, I only blame him for not trying.
I've never been one to put unrealistic expectations on my doctors. I know alot of people do because for some reason, the general public seems to think that doctors are superheros. There is no room for uncertainty or error or ignorance anymore in hospitals, and that really makes me sad. They're people, just like the rest of us, and they have a really hard job. I try to keep that in mind when I'm with them because I'm sometimes tempted to get angry with them when they can't tell me what's wrong or when they know what's wrong and they tell me it's impossible to fix. That stuff is really frustrating and sometimes it's unbearably hard to hear. But I know they don't know everything and I know by now that I'm a pretty tough case. I completely understand when they tell that they can't do anything for me. BUT, I'm only ok with that after they've exhausted every test, procedure, and treatment they have available. I'm NOT ok with them saying, "get used to being sick" after one single drug fails to work, which is essentially what my old neurologist did.

Last month I hit the 3 year mark of being sick. In some ways, it feels like that day in July 2005 was just a few days ago, and in other ways I feel like I've lived an entire lifetime in these 3 very long years. In some ways, I feel stuck at 18 years old...like I've lost 3 whole years. In other ways I feel like I should be 40 years old right now because of what I've just walked through.

My gut tells me that there will be a day when I post on here and say, "I've just hit the 20 year mark...", but my heart tells me to hold on and still hope and pray for a day when this will all be a memory. I'm praying this new doctor will be just what I need to take the next step towards healing. I don't know if he'll be any wiser than the rest of my doctors who tell me I'll have to live like this forever, but I sure hope he thinks of something we haven't tried yet! And I hope that if he really has no clue and honestly can't figure this out, that he'll allow me to go out of network to a research hospital and let them take over (something my old doctor was adamantly against). Please pray with us that we will find some answers and that this new neurologist will be what God uses to bring this all to a close. And please pray for my all of my doctors as they try to work together...pray for wisdom and good teamwork! Thank you!!