I'm blogging twice in a week?? Oh my gosh!
The girls ditched me for their friends this evening, so there's nothing better to do...
Well, Beth is graduating in 4 days. I think I'm more nervous than she is! I'm so excited and happy for her and really can't wait to see what she'll be up to this next year. But the other half of me wants to talk mom into forcing Beth to do another year of school here. Maybe because I hate that everyone's growing up.
If you've been around long enough, you know I have a real inertia problem. (Who did I get that from? Annie?) It's one of my biggest downfalls...the thing that sets me back the most. I really hate change and often wonder why God let the sun stand still for Joshua but not for me. It's good that God put so many people, especially children in the form of siblings and nieces and nephews, into my life because I don't get stuck standing still for long. The kids are changing and growing every day and it helps me to remember that God didn't create us to be stagnant beings. He created us to walk, to keep moving, to enjoy life He's given us but not to cling to it.
This week, with the Beth's graduation moving closer, in the midst of being happy for her and helping her plan, I've been longing for the time when we were smaller (especially when we were shopping for dresses, haha!) and all of us were together all the time. There is nothing I love more on this earth than my family, and I'm so like my dad and wish we all could live on the same 10 acres for the rest of our lives. I've been longing for the time when we were all in Mom's school together, our days were semi-predictable, and there was no danger of one of us leaving or moving away. (That's why I moved back in :) Life was simple.
When I get into one of those nostalgic moods, I always snap out of it by seeing an example of why the changes are amazing and there is no way I'd want to go back. One of those reminders was last night, I think, when I was out shopping with my sisters. The three of us went with Em and Michelle (our adopted sisters) to shop for dresses for the graduation. When I first saw Shelley in the dressing room in a gorgeous dress, I wanted to stop and tell her to go to the girls' department and pick out a cute little girl's dress. Because I didn't want her to be this old. (Shelley, you're so OLD!) But I got over it because she really did look beautiful and she wouldn't look like that if she was still 5 years old. We continued shopping and we were all giving each other suggestions and opinions and what looked best and what made us look skinny. ;) And I loved it. We couldn't do that when we were 5.
When we got back home, we all ended up in my room talking and soon Caleb joined us. We sat there and talked for a couple of hours of things that I didn't talk to them about a year or two ago. They are all growing up and it's a good feeling to become less of a mom and more of a best friend.
Except for Emily and Michelle, who are my sisters anyway, I lost most of my friends after I got sick. Each one for different reasons, but a few months ago they were all gone. I treasure the friendship with my sisters even more now and I'm so glad they're not 10 anymore, because I need them.
I was reading a verse this morning that kind of woke me up. It's from Ecclesiastes and it says, "Ask not, 'Why were the former days better than these?' For it is not from wisdom that you ask this."
I guess that doesn't need any explanation, so...on to a lighter note.
If you've never been to Covenant of Grace Church, now is the time to visit. Dirk just became my hero because he's finally preaching through Genesis. I was ecstatic a few months ago when he first started talking about it, and I think I was his biggest cheerleader while he was making the decision. I just love the Old Testament...not because I don't love the NT's theology and Good News, but because I love history and love reading about how we began. I think the best examples of God's infinite patience and faithfulness are in the OT and it gives me great comfort to read them. Anyway...Come to COG and hear about Creation. Or, just go online and listen to the sermons because they're gonna be great. covenantofgracechurchsa.org
I noticed a few hours ago that there are paint chips taped to every wall downstairs. I can't believe Mom finally made some decisions. They were probably the biggest decisions of her life, and I sure hope she doesn't regret them in a few weeks. I'm not sure about that red focal wall, Mom. ;) No, I'm kidding. It's gonna look fabulous and everyone should come see when Dirk's finished.
I've been feeling good for a few days and am SO thankful. It's been a nice break from the usual "I want to scream but instead I'll smile" days, and I'm enjoying it. Some of you asked about the doctors not wanting to treat the Chiari problem. I'll save that for another post but for now, they are just 30 year old guys who don't want to be wrong, so they want to treat me for the things they thought I had.
Is this the first year that San Antonio has ever been pretty? It's gorgeous down here and I don't want the rain to stop. Everything is so green..it sort of feels like driving through Virginia. Well, you know what I mean. Anyway...hurray for no drought this summer!
5/27/07
5/24/07
updates
Ok, here's the update.
None of my doctors think I have a CSF leak anymore. To any other person, I think this would be good news, but when they told me that, I was pretty upset. The pain and other problems hadn't gone away, so I thought the leaks had to still be there but that they were just tired of trying to find them. They told us they were convinced something was still wrong, but they really didn't think it was a leak. So they sent me back to have another MRI.
Last week, since they still weren't letting me drive, Dad took me to my neurology appointment where we saw the MRI results. We were looking at the pictures and I knew immediately something wasn't right. My untrained eye couldn't point it out, but something didn't look right. My doctor said that it was a Chiari Malformation. I knew this term because it's what some of my doctors had suspected from the beginning, but could never find any evidence of it. I won't go into great detail (that's what Google is for), but a CM is basically when the brain drops and rests on the skull instead of floating in the CSF like it should. It can happen from low CSF pressure, or it can be present from birth as some sort of defect. They say if you have it when you're a baby, you won't notice any symptoms until you're into early adulthood. The pictures showed that my brain is in fact sitting on the bottom of my skull, my brain stem is inside of my spinal canal, and the bottom of my brain is being severely compressed which is what causes the severe head and neck pain. (I hope you're not eating right now)
Anyway, to any other person, this would have been bad news. I was pretty excited though. In 2 years, it's the first concrete evidence that I'm not making all this up. And for the first time my doctors can actually see exactly what's wrong so hopefully, they can come up with a better treatment plan.
Some of the doctors don't want to treat this, so I'm going to have to put up a fight about it.
That's the nutshell. I'll let y'all know when they decide to do something...
None of my doctors think I have a CSF leak anymore. To any other person, I think this would be good news, but when they told me that, I was pretty upset. The pain and other problems hadn't gone away, so I thought the leaks had to still be there but that they were just tired of trying to find them. They told us they were convinced something was still wrong, but they really didn't think it was a leak. So they sent me back to have another MRI.
Last week, since they still weren't letting me drive, Dad took me to my neurology appointment where we saw the MRI results. We were looking at the pictures and I knew immediately something wasn't right. My untrained eye couldn't point it out, but something didn't look right. My doctor said that it was a Chiari Malformation. I knew this term because it's what some of my doctors had suspected from the beginning, but could never find any evidence of it. I won't go into great detail (that's what Google is for), but a CM is basically when the brain drops and rests on the skull instead of floating in the CSF like it should. It can happen from low CSF pressure, or it can be present from birth as some sort of defect. They say if you have it when you're a baby, you won't notice any symptoms until you're into early adulthood. The pictures showed that my brain is in fact sitting on the bottom of my skull, my brain stem is inside of my spinal canal, and the bottom of my brain is being severely compressed which is what causes the severe head and neck pain. (I hope you're not eating right now)
Anyway, to any other person, this would have been bad news. I was pretty excited though. In 2 years, it's the first concrete evidence that I'm not making all this up. And for the first time my doctors can actually see exactly what's wrong so hopefully, they can come up with a better treatment plan.
Some of the doctors don't want to treat this, so I'm going to have to put up a fight about it.
That's the nutshell. I'll let y'all know when they decide to do something...
5/7/07
around the house in 80 seconds
Right now around the House:
Aubrey is forcing Sam to inhale some steroids through his...inhaler.
Jonathan and Caleb are fighting over the "real way to play Clue."
Beth is being her usual crafty self and making a huge poster.
Abby is eagerly waiting her turn to get her hands in Beth's paint.
Shelley is singing lines from "Cats", "Phantom of the Opera", and "Wizard of Oz", all at the same time. (A shocker, I know.)
Mom is a little upset with Dad for bringing home Chocolate and Key Lime pies, instead of Coconut Creme.
I, on the other hand, am very happy with Dad for holding off on the Coconut.
Isaac is convinced that he is the Real Jack Sparrow.
Tim has just learned that there are alot of people in the world (most of them in SA) who don't think babies are blessings from God. He is horrified.
Shelley is begging Aubrey and I to watch "Phantom of the Opera in 15 minutes" online with her.
We told her that we're busy, but she insists it will only take 30 minutes of our time.
Dad is pondering this.
Mom is satisfied with an ice cream sandwich.
Aubrey is pulling her hair out because she's heard one too many lines from "Cats" today.
Sam is running around in his diaper begging to take a a shower in Granny's room.
Tim and Josh want to know the names of the people who don't love new babies so they can go "beat them up."
David just wants to teach them about Jesus.
Beth is still involved in her project and has just yelled a warning into the living room. "Aubrey, Sam has a green hand and he's coming into the living room!"
Somebody yells something about taking a picture.
The boys are talking about setting someone's hair on fire...
I'm gonna go watch.
Aubrey is forcing Sam to inhale some steroids through his...inhaler.
Jonathan and Caleb are fighting over the "real way to play Clue."
Beth is being her usual crafty self and making a huge poster.
Abby is eagerly waiting her turn to get her hands in Beth's paint.
Shelley is singing lines from "Cats", "Phantom of the Opera", and "Wizard of Oz", all at the same time. (A shocker, I know.)
Mom is a little upset with Dad for bringing home Chocolate and Key Lime pies, instead of Coconut Creme.
I, on the other hand, am very happy with Dad for holding off on the Coconut.
Isaac is convinced that he is the Real Jack Sparrow.
Tim has just learned that there are alot of people in the world (most of them in SA) who don't think babies are blessings from God. He is horrified.
Shelley is begging Aubrey and I to watch "Phantom of the Opera in 15 minutes" online with her.
We told her that we're busy, but she insists it will only take 30 minutes of our time.
Dad is pondering this.
Mom is satisfied with an ice cream sandwich.
Aubrey is pulling her hair out because she's heard one too many lines from "Cats" today.
Sam is running around in his diaper begging to take a a shower in Granny's room.
Tim and Josh want to know the names of the people who don't love new babies so they can go "beat them up."
David just wants to teach them about Jesus.
Beth is still involved in her project and has just yelled a warning into the living room. "Aubrey, Sam has a green hand and he's coming into the living room!"
Somebody yells something about taking a picture.
The boys are talking about setting someone's hair on fire...
I'm gonna go watch.
5/2/07
Princess Bride
Ok, here's a story for you.
In my first couple of months working at K2K, our boss, Ken, attended a series of conferences that took him out of state. He'd been gone for the better part of 2 weeks and the day before he came back, one of the girls decided to change the screen saver marquee on his computer from "Do it now!" to "Girls rock!" He came back to work the next day and was not happy about his new screen saver. He said something about how he hates when people mess with his computer and that the girls should get their own computers. Fearing for our lives (or our jobs) none of us touched his screen saver ever again.
Fast forward about 3 months.
I was in my new store, my new computers had just arrived, we set them up, and I set my user controls and such to how I wanted them. For my screen saver, I put a line up from "The Princess Bride". If you know our family, you know we can and frequently quote and act out the entire movie by heart. I came to work the next morning, turned on my computers, and what did I see? My screen saver had been changed. To a different line from Princess Bride. I called Ken to give him a hard time and said that he should be grateful that I don't get mad when people mess with my computers. I promptly changed my screen saver to a different, funnier line from the movie. The next morning, same story. This was war.
So for 6 weeks this went on, every time he came to my store, he'd change the screen saver, and then I'd try to outdo him the next day.
After 6 weeks, I put up the last line I could think of that we hadn't used yet. It wasn't very funny, but hey, it was the scraps. Before Ken changed it again, he called me to say he hoped I wouldn't get mad when I saw his "quote to end all quotes."
I came to work the next morning, and this is what I saw...
I'm pretty sure I lost.
In my first couple of months working at K2K, our boss, Ken, attended a series of conferences that took him out of state. He'd been gone for the better part of 2 weeks and the day before he came back, one of the girls decided to change the screen saver marquee on his computer from "Do it now!" to "Girls rock!" He came back to work the next day and was not happy about his new screen saver. He said something about how he hates when people mess with his computer and that the girls should get their own computers. Fearing for our lives (or our jobs) none of us touched his screen saver ever again.
Fast forward about 3 months.
I was in my new store, my new computers had just arrived, we set them up, and I set my user controls and such to how I wanted them. For my screen saver, I put a line up from "The Princess Bride". If you know our family, you know we can and frequently quote and act out the entire movie by heart. I came to work the next morning, turned on my computers, and what did I see? My screen saver had been changed. To a different line from Princess Bride. I called Ken to give him a hard time and said that he should be grateful that I don't get mad when people mess with my computers. I promptly changed my screen saver to a different, funnier line from the movie. The next morning, same story. This was war.
So for 6 weeks this went on, every time he came to my store, he'd change the screen saver, and then I'd try to outdo him the next day.
After 6 weeks, I put up the last line I could think of that we hadn't used yet. It wasn't very funny, but hey, it was the scraps. Before Ken changed it again, he called me to say he hoped I wouldn't get mad when I saw his "quote to end all quotes."
I came to work the next morning, and this is what I saw...
I'm pretty sure I lost.
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