Since I haven't given you a good psycho story in awhile, here's a good one in case you were looking for a good laugh. This happened on Wednesday of this week, our first day of classes after spring break.
We all walk in, and Dr D is already writing his notes all over the marker boards. We sit down and the Dr starts to take a poll of who got the most drunk over spring break. He claimed that no one got as drunk as he did. Good to know, right?
His outline in the board was titled "Learning." He managed to get through about a third of the lecture before he stopped at "punishment", one of his sub points. He said that punishment is intended to suppress learning. He asked us what the most popular form of punishment for children in America was. Someone said "spanking." (I thought time-outs had taken over, but who in that class really cares what I think, so I didn't say that.) He said spanking was the correct answer and said that we could attribute EVERY problem in the US back to parents spanking their children. "Spanking has never never EVER worked. Get that in your heads! It has never worked, cannot ever work, will never work. Understand that." I never take notes in this class because he never tests us on his lectures. On top of that, his lectures are usually a big campaign ad for Hillary Clinton. The only time I "take notes" are when I'm taking notes for my blog. So when I heard the word "spanking," I had to get out my pen and start writing because I knew it was going to be good.
More words from the Dr (straight from my notes): "All parents who spank their children should be imprisoned. Spanking is the same thing as the war in Iraq: all violence. You can call it spanking, you can call it war, you can call it "an act of war," you can call it terrorism, you can call it school bullies. Whatever you call it, it's all the same and it's violence. Violence should never be tolerated in an form. Oh, and the funny thing is that some parents say, "I know it doesn't feel good right now, but it will help you in the long run." Ha! George Bush said, "I know this war isn't fun right now, but it will help you in the long run." What the %&$@ ??! George Bush and all of his supporters should be imprisoned. Vote for Hillary! Ok, where was I? Oh yeah, spanking. Ok, a child who is ever spanked will definitely, without fail, grow up to be some sort of bullie, gang member, murderer, rapist, or someone that uses violence and aggression on a daily basis. It's a proven fact that children who were never spanked will NEVER grow up to use any sort of violence against other people."
A great cheer goes up from the class and everybody claps, but I am hunched over and furiously writing this all down, thinking it may be worth money someday. He went on:
"Spanking, even if it is not abusive, cannot possibly work to alter the behavior of a child. That's because spanking doesn't ever teach a child to be afraid of breaking the rules, it teaches the child to be afraid of it's own mother. Do spanked kids ever obey the rules when their parents aren't around? Of course not! That has never happened! If spanking were to work, we'd have to do it so differently than parents today do it. Parents don't spank the right way, therefore, it can't work. Parents always spank when they're angry, they spank before they've told the child WHY they're getting spanked. They spank and sometimes don't even explain it at all! How do you expect that to work??"
I wrote in my notes that he was right about this point. Spanking is probably not very effective when used this way. And sadly, many parents do spank like that. But that's not all!
"There is only one way for spanking to ever work. Beyond this one way, spanking is doomed to failure. But! It is impossible to use this one perfect spanking routine. It goes against all laws of human nature and all laws of human psychology. It is perfect, but humans cannot handle it."
I was very excited by this point to hear what he thought was the perfect spanking model. I expected to hear something so perfect that it was unattainable by any sinful person. This is what he said:
"So, little Johnny is 4 years old. He's running around in the front yard. His mom is out watching him and lets him run. He runs onto the sidewalk and his mom tells him not to go into the street. Johnny runs around a little more and then shoots off into the street. Mom yells and tells him to get back in the grass. She says if he does that again, he will get spanked for disobeying. Johnny runs around, gets to the sidewalk and jumps into the street. Mom runs over to him, picks him up and carries him into the house. She puts Johnny into a chair and she goes into another room for 2 or 3 minutes to calm down. She comes out, tells Johnny what he did wrong, why she doesn't want him in the street, and why he's getting a spanking. She gives him the spanking and then again tells him why he was spanked and that she's doing it because she loves him and wants him to be safe."
I kept waiting for something more, waiting for the impossible scenario. But he was finished. That WAS the impossible scenario. I have usually kept my mouth shut in this class. But this time I felt compelled to say something. I mean, I don't care if you don't spank your kids. I don't even care if think it's wrong. But when you say that no one has ever done it the right way and it has never worked, that's where I have a problem. So I raised my hand and said that I am one of 9 children, I have 13 nieces and nephews, and we've all been spanked. I said that I can probably count on one hand the number of times I ever witnessed my parents or older siblings spanking while they were angry. They always calmed down first, then spanked. And I said I could not remember one single time where the spanking was not explained beforehand, instead of after. Therefore, my parents and siblings definitely followed the "impossibly perfect" model.
Dr D was frowning the whole time I was talking and when I finished, he walked over to my table and and said, "Either you're lying or you're remembering it wrong. You should check your sources and talk to people before you go saying things in this class. Oh, and I hope you have a bad memory because I hate liars."
As I was trying to think of a good snappy comeback he went on, speaking to the rest of the class, "Now, Cathryn's comment brings up something else that I want to talk about. That is the compulsion to protect one's own parents. The need to make them look perfect, even when they aren't. Even severely abuse children will protect their parents. See, I didn't even ask for examples from the class and yet Cathryn still felt the compulsion to protect her parents." He walked back over to my table and said to me, "Cathryn, I think if you and I could talk alone, we could uncover alot of stressful or traumatic memories that you've suppressed. I think we could discover the truth together about what could have been mild to severe abuse. Come talk to me after class, ok? Ok guys, you're dismissed!"
Great. So because I'm stupid and actually opened my mouth in his class, the rest of the people in that room think I'm a liar, I'm insane, and I've been severely abused by my parents and don't even know it. These last 5 weeks of school are going to be so fun!
I'm still trying to think of what I should have said to him after he told me I was lying. Any suggestions?
Oh and, I bolted out of that classroom. No way am I talking to that man alone.
3/29/08
3/18/08
Sleepover
After over 100 pictures, here are our favorites from our Super Happy Glitterly Pink Girly Sleepover. For obvious reasons, the older girls and I were waaaayyy too busy to snap any pictures of the meal times or bedtimes. Those were...a little crazy. But here's a few from the moments where we were able to actually grab a camera and shoot. These first few are some of the girls cuddled up watcing "Little Women." And some hair and nail pictures down at the bottom. Looks like everyone had fun!
**pictures are now labeled, for people like Kristen who ditched us....I mean moved away.**
Marisol and Charis watching the movie.
Montana. Beth and Emily decided they did not want their faces photographed.
Um...Skye or Saige, not sure which one, with Rachel, one of the guests of honor. :)
To escape the madness, Cheyenne and Amy went upstairs to read and sew. Celeste quickly followed.
Aubrey and Allie, looking very warm.
Our other guest of honor, Elizabeth, Kora, Melody, and either Skye or Saige. Can anyone REALLY tell them apart??
Joahnen, happy to have the entire blanket to herself. :)
Some of the girls watching the movie. Emily and Beth are hiding their faces again. They told me this was my last picture or they were going to confiscate the camera.
Celeste, Beth, and Amy (one of our older helpers) getting their fill before the masses came in.
I somehow bribed Amy to sit at the table with me for 2 hours and paint everyone's nails. The nail polishes you see on the table are, I'm not kidding, exactly HALF of what we had available. These girls brought their weight in polish.
Emily, although she is my best friend, did not want to be stuck at a table painting nails with me for 2 hours. She elected to try her hand at hair, which as you can see, probably wasn't going like she'd planned. Poor Charis.
Montana was extremely happy to have dark blue nail polish. She was concerned about what her mother might think the next morning but I assured her that I had plenty of polish remover. :) Don't look at me, it was midnight. Montana is the cute one.
Montana and Charis at their FIRST sleepover EVER! Looks like Emily was able to finish one of those braids in time for the Meeker sisters to pose.
Cheyenne was also one of our wonderful helpers that night and she sat beside Shelley to twist and braid hair for hours. Here they are braiding Kora and Elizabeth's hair. I'm pretty sure Kora had to go through 4 hair braiders to get her hair finished.
Marisol was patiently waiting for her turn in the hair slots, and while waiting decided that her doll should not miss out on the girly fun.
Um..Skye or Saige, Joahnen, and Aubrey. They're playing Apples to Apples while waiting for everyone else to get finished with hair and nails.
And no party at the Warrens would be complete without "Uncle John" coming in to terrorize a few people and sing songs about them.
Party poopers.
**pictures are now labeled, for people like Kristen who ditched us....I mean moved away.**
Marisol and Charis watching the movie.
Montana. Beth and Emily decided they did not want their faces photographed.
Um...Skye or Saige, not sure which one, with Rachel, one of the guests of honor. :)
To escape the madness, Cheyenne and Amy went upstairs to read and sew. Celeste quickly followed.
Aubrey and Allie, looking very warm.
Our other guest of honor, Elizabeth, Kora, Melody, and either Skye or Saige. Can anyone REALLY tell them apart??
Joahnen, happy to have the entire blanket to herself. :)
Some of the girls watching the movie. Emily and Beth are hiding their faces again. They told me this was my last picture or they were going to confiscate the camera.
Celeste, Beth, and Amy (one of our older helpers) getting their fill before the masses came in.
I somehow bribed Amy to sit at the table with me for 2 hours and paint everyone's nails. The nail polishes you see on the table are, I'm not kidding, exactly HALF of what we had available. These girls brought their weight in polish.
Emily, although she is my best friend, did not want to be stuck at a table painting nails with me for 2 hours. She elected to try her hand at hair, which as you can see, probably wasn't going like she'd planned. Poor Charis.
Montana was extremely happy to have dark blue nail polish. She was concerned about what her mother might think the next morning but I assured her that I had plenty of polish remover. :) Don't look at me, it was midnight. Montana is the cute one.
Montana and Charis at their FIRST sleepover EVER! Looks like Emily was able to finish one of those braids in time for the Meeker sisters to pose. 
Cheyenne was also one of our wonderful helpers that night and she sat beside Shelley to twist and braid hair for hours. Here they are braiding Kora and Elizabeth's hair. I'm pretty sure Kora had to go through 4 hair braiders to get her hair finished.
Marisol was patiently waiting for her turn in the hair slots, and while waiting decided that her doll should not miss out on the girly fun.
Um..Skye or Saige, Joahnen, and Aubrey. They're playing Apples to Apples while waiting for everyone else to get finished with hair and nails.
And no party at the Warrens would be complete without "Uncle John" coming in to terrorize a few people and sing songs about them.
Party poopers.
3/14/08
little girls
We currently have exactly 19 Covenant of Grace girls, ages 8-15, in our house for a Super Fun Happy Glittery Pink Girly Party Sleepover. Mom is in the hospital still, so the girls and I thought it would be fun to do this for the church girls before Mom gets back. Are we crazy? Probably. We thought about doing a live blogging thing during the event, but then the 19 girls showed up and we realized....yeah, that's not possible.
But really, we are having tons of fun and all the girls are SOOOOO excited to be here! They keep telling us it's the best sleepover ever, so I think that means they like it. We've already eaten pizza and fruit, brownie/ice cream sundaes with plenty of toppings, popcorn, cookies, and gummie savers. We are on our second girly movie and we have painted every girl's fingernails and toenails with about 92 different colors of paint, and we've braided and string beaded everyone's hair. We're not really sure if the girls will ever go to sleep, but they brought their sleeping bags and pillows just in case. :)
Oh, and, Aubrey and Dirk invited ALL the Covenant of Grace boys to their house for a sleepover tonight! I think they have 18 or 19 boys over there, too, so both houses are one big mass of kids. We're taking tons of pictures at both houses and we will follow up with a post containing all the stories, quotes, messes, and pictures later! ...when we're all alive again...
But really, we are having tons of fun and all the girls are SOOOOO excited to be here! They keep telling us it's the best sleepover ever, so I think that means they like it. We've already eaten pizza and fruit, brownie/ice cream sundaes with plenty of toppings, popcorn, cookies, and gummie savers. We are on our second girly movie and we have painted every girl's fingernails and toenails with about 92 different colors of paint, and we've braided and string beaded everyone's hair. We're not really sure if the girls will ever go to sleep, but they brought their sleeping bags and pillows just in case. :)
Oh, and, Aubrey and Dirk invited ALL the Covenant of Grace boys to their house for a sleepover tonight! I think they have 18 or 19 boys over there, too, so both houses are one big mass of kids. We're taking tons of pictures at both houses and we will follow up with a post containing all the stories, quotes, messes, and pictures later! ...when we're all alive again...
3/10/08
psych-o
Got my grades back for my paper(s)! And yes, he did talk about the fake papers. It went down like this:
He was a little late to class, so by the time he got there, all of us were already sitting down waiting. He walked in and didn't say a word (which is very unusual for him), went to the front and put his stuff down, crossed his arms and just starred at us. His eyes went from one person to the next and he didn't speak for a good 2 minutes. Everyone thought we were in trouble, but I knew what he was really thinking. :)
He got out the stack of graded papers and said, "Now, before I give these back to you, I want to say a few things. Overall, I thought the content of my presents [he calls all papers we hand in "his presents"] was decent. Most of you got Bs and Cs, a couple of As, and just a few Ds. There were, however, 2 papers that I was unable to grade. This is amazing to me because I was taught at this school for over 10 years now. I've been teaching this class for over 10 years. I've been using this same syllabus for over 10 years. And I've assigned this exact paper for over 10 years. And never....NEVER in over 10 years have I seen anything like this. This could be brilliant, or it could be tragic." He stopped right there and did the 2 minute staring thing again.
He continued, "Well, I really don't know how to explain this, but I think a couple of you might have misunderstood the assignment. See, there were a few people who didn't turn in a paper with their name on it. The thing is, I received two papers with no names of anybody in this class. One was from a dog, and the other from a mermaid. " At this point, everyone busted out laughing and I was careful to do the same. He went on, "Yeah, yeah, I know that it's kind of funny. In fact, I was laughing so hard I almost cried while reading them. But then I thought about the people that didn't turn in any papers. I mean, if these papers are meant to be jokes, that's great. Props to you, man, because you are hysterical. BUT... If these papers are NOT jokes, and if one of you in this class really truly believes that you are a....a dog, or a...mermaid, please, please PLEASE come talk to me after class. You know, I got my PhD in this and we can talk through some of these issues and really get to the bottom of this. I want you all to be functioning members of society, but thinking you're a mermaid won't get you very far, I promise. So, if you have any sort of identity issues, please come see me and I'll help get you through this."
The entire class was laughing like crazy and asking all sorts of questions about the papers. He refused to answer any questions about the content of the weird papers "in case they were true." Of course, the speculation was also hilarious to listen to. Everyone was asking everyone else if "they were the one" and I made sure to say and do the same things that everyone else was doing. Anyway, everyone got a good laugh out of it and, for the rest of the class, the papers remain a mystery.
It was difficult for me to pull the two papers, plus my real paper, out of the stack without anyone noticing. I eventually got all three, but I have no idea if anyone saw me or not. While looking through the stack of papers, though, I noticed something. First of all, this is the 5th or 6th paper we've written for this class so far. Every single paper has to have a standard APA title page, which the professor give us the format for. It's not very hard to make a title page with a template. In fact, after 5 or 6 times, you'd think the title pages would be flawless. So...looking through the stack of papers that day, every single paper had some sort of red mark on the title page. Most of them had alot of red marks and notes on them. Only three papers were completely clear of red marks. So...if he was paying any attention, he probably could have figured out that they were mine. I'm hoping he didn't notice...
Today I started the first wave of the epidemic that I want to start. I convinced about 8 students to write one fake paper each for the next introspection, without letting them even suspect that I was the original person. Yes, I am that good. My goal (and theirs too, now) is to, by the last introspection, to get all 40 students to write a fake paper each. Hopefully, the professor will have twice as many papers to go through by the end of the semester and maybe the creepy stalker-man won't ask for papers with so much personal info in them. Maybe that's why he calls them "presents"....
He was a little late to class, so by the time he got there, all of us were already sitting down waiting. He walked in and didn't say a word (which is very unusual for him), went to the front and put his stuff down, crossed his arms and just starred at us. His eyes went from one person to the next and he didn't speak for a good 2 minutes. Everyone thought we were in trouble, but I knew what he was really thinking. :)
He got out the stack of graded papers and said, "Now, before I give these back to you, I want to say a few things. Overall, I thought the content of my presents [he calls all papers we hand in "his presents"] was decent. Most of you got Bs and Cs, a couple of As, and just a few Ds. There were, however, 2 papers that I was unable to grade. This is amazing to me because I was taught at this school for over 10 years now. I've been teaching this class for over 10 years. I've been using this same syllabus for over 10 years. And I've assigned this exact paper for over 10 years. And never....NEVER in over 10 years have I seen anything like this. This could be brilliant, or it could be tragic." He stopped right there and did the 2 minute staring thing again.
He continued, "Well, I really don't know how to explain this, but I think a couple of you might have misunderstood the assignment. See, there were a few people who didn't turn in a paper with their name on it. The thing is, I received two papers with no names of anybody in this class. One was from a dog, and the other from a mermaid. " At this point, everyone busted out laughing and I was careful to do the same. He went on, "Yeah, yeah, I know that it's kind of funny. In fact, I was laughing so hard I almost cried while reading them. But then I thought about the people that didn't turn in any papers. I mean, if these papers are meant to be jokes, that's great. Props to you, man, because you are hysterical. BUT... If these papers are NOT jokes, and if one of you in this class really truly believes that you are a....a dog, or a...mermaid, please, please PLEASE come talk to me after class. You know, I got my PhD in this and we can talk through some of these issues and really get to the bottom of this. I want you all to be functioning members of society, but thinking you're a mermaid won't get you very far, I promise. So, if you have any sort of identity issues, please come see me and I'll help get you through this."
The entire class was laughing like crazy and asking all sorts of questions about the papers. He refused to answer any questions about the content of the weird papers "in case they were true." Of course, the speculation was also hilarious to listen to. Everyone was asking everyone else if "they were the one" and I made sure to say and do the same things that everyone else was doing. Anyway, everyone got a good laugh out of it and, for the rest of the class, the papers remain a mystery.
It was difficult for me to pull the two papers, plus my real paper, out of the stack without anyone noticing. I eventually got all three, but I have no idea if anyone saw me or not. While looking through the stack of papers, though, I noticed something. First of all, this is the 5th or 6th paper we've written for this class so far. Every single paper has to have a standard APA title page, which the professor give us the format for. It's not very hard to make a title page with a template. In fact, after 5 or 6 times, you'd think the title pages would be flawless. So...looking through the stack of papers that day, every single paper had some sort of red mark on the title page. Most of them had alot of red marks and notes on them. Only three papers were completely clear of red marks. So...if he was paying any attention, he probably could have figured out that they were mine. I'm hoping he didn't notice...
Today I started the first wave of the epidemic that I want to start. I convinced about 8 students to write one fake paper each for the next introspection, without letting them even suspect that I was the original person. Yes, I am that good. My goal (and theirs too, now) is to, by the last introspection, to get all 40 students to write a fake paper each. Hopefully, the professor will have twice as many papers to go through by the end of the semester and maybe the creepy stalker-man won't ask for papers with so much personal info in them. Maybe that's why he calls them "presents"....
3/9/08
psych-o
Excepts from the Fake Psychology Papers:
This is me with Claire, the sweet fluffy dog who inspired Shelley's paper...
My name is Claire, although most people call me Clairebear. I don't
mind, because they say it
because they love me. I am a registered therapist. I have brown eyes
and white, curly hair. Everyone
says I am very soft—whether in texture or spirit, I am not sure.
Almost everyone likes me. I can't say the
same for almost everyone. I enjoy being held by my mother, food
(biscuits in particular), Sue, and the
vibrations in the floor when my mother plays piano. I will try to let
loose what I feel in this paper.
I don't know how I got everyone to like me so much, I consider myself
fairly normal, plus, I
sometimes have very mean thoughts about certain people, or just people
in general. It was probably my
mother's doing, she tends to talk me up as much as possible around
people. But I love her more than
anything in the world. I hate when she leaves me all alone every day.
But then I am so happy when she
comes home in the evening. I know she loves me just as much as I love her.
My mother is a music teacher. Why, she is quite the best musician I
know of, but then, I don't
get out much. I love to look up at her while she plays the piano. I
never could play more than one key at
a time, not having any proper digits. Still, I love to hear her play.
Sometimes she'll let me sit on top of
the piano while she plays.
Probably the most tragic aspect of my life is the fact that I am
colorblind. People think it doesn't
bother me, but it truly does. But what I lack in eyesight, I make up
for with my keen sense of smell. It has
served me well in protecting my house, as does my acute hearing. I
have been able to guard my family
from strangers my whole life (and when I say "strangers," I mean everyone).
I think I might have a disorder of some sort: I love to lick things.
Anything, really, people, shoes,
furniture, anything I can get my tongue on. I can't help it. There are
just so many things to taste! I also
have severe allergies which keep me in the house primarily.
As I mentioned, I work with therapy patients. I like them because I
know they can't hurt me. But
when I go, my mother usually makes me wear one of my ridiculous
sweaters. I only really like to wear
clothes in the wintertime.
Since I'm home most of the time, I don't get a lot of physical
activity, so I pant a lot. My tongue
hangs out in a very unattractive way, but no one seems to care.
I love to sleep, preferably in the window, where I can watch the
door. Sleeping makes me happy.
Sometimes I dream that I can walk with my back straight up. When I
walk, I'm very close to the ground,
which makes my neck hurt because I have to look up all of the time.
My favorite movie is Balto. I watch it every day. Balto is so dreamy!
My favorite scene is when
Balto shows Jenna the replica of the Northern Lights. That movie has
always inspired me—I always
wanted to be a hero, like Balto.
I love when my brother and sister are home. They always bring me
treats. They are just as gifted
as Mother is. They are my best friends, except for Sue. Sue lives in
the kitchen, and I only see him when I
walk by the oven. Sue is very awkward, he won't talk until I start
talking, then there's an uncomfortable
silence, but he's still my best friend. I love how I can look at Sue
and his face conveys everything I am
feeling at that moment. His behaviors perfectly mimic mine, like we
are long lost twins. He's the only
one who understands me.
So this is my life. I have many feelings, and have tried to convey as
many of them as I could in
this paper. My name is Claire, and I am a dog.
Caleb's "Rose the Mermaid" paper to come!
This is me with Claire, the sweet fluffy dog who inspired Shelley's paper...
My name is Claire, although most people call me Clairebear. I don'tmind, because they say it
because they love me. I am a registered therapist. I have brown eyes
and white, curly hair. Everyone
says I am very soft—whether in texture or spirit, I am not sure.
Almost everyone likes me. I can't say the
same for almost everyone. I enjoy being held by my mother, food
(biscuits in particular), Sue, and the
vibrations in the floor when my mother plays piano. I will try to let
loose what I feel in this paper.
I don't know how I got everyone to like me so much, I consider myself
fairly normal, plus, I
sometimes have very mean thoughts about certain people, or just people
in general. It was probably my
mother's doing, she tends to talk me up as much as possible around
people. But I love her more than
anything in the world. I hate when she leaves me all alone every day.
But then I am so happy when she
comes home in the evening. I know she loves me just as much as I love her.
My mother is a music teacher. Why, she is quite the best musician I
know of, but then, I don't
get out much. I love to look up at her while she plays the piano. I
never could play more than one key at
a time, not having any proper digits. Still, I love to hear her play.
Sometimes she'll let me sit on top of
the piano while she plays.
Probably the most tragic aspect of my life is the fact that I am
colorblind. People think it doesn't
bother me, but it truly does. But what I lack in eyesight, I make up
for with my keen sense of smell. It has
served me well in protecting my house, as does my acute hearing. I
have been able to guard my family
from strangers my whole life (and when I say "strangers," I mean everyone).
I think I might have a disorder of some sort: I love to lick things.
Anything, really, people, shoes,
furniture, anything I can get my tongue on. I can't help it. There are
just so many things to taste! I also
have severe allergies which keep me in the house primarily.
As I mentioned, I work with therapy patients. I like them because I
know they can't hurt me. But
when I go, my mother usually makes me wear one of my ridiculous
sweaters. I only really like to wear
clothes in the wintertime.
Since I'm home most of the time, I don't get a lot of physical
activity, so I pant a lot. My tongue
hangs out in a very unattractive way, but no one seems to care.
I love to sleep, preferably in the window, where I can watch the
door. Sleeping makes me happy.
Sometimes I dream that I can walk with my back straight up. When I
walk, I'm very close to the ground,
which makes my neck hurt because I have to look up all of the time.
My favorite movie is Balto. I watch it every day. Balto is so dreamy!
My favorite scene is when
Balto shows Jenna the replica of the Northern Lights. That movie has
always inspired me—I always
wanted to be a hero, like Balto.
I love when my brother and sister are home. They always bring me
treats. They are just as gifted
as Mother is. They are my best friends, except for Sue. Sue lives in
the kitchen, and I only see him when I
walk by the oven. Sue is very awkward, he won't talk until I start
talking, then there's an uncomfortable
silence, but he's still my best friend. I love how I can look at Sue
and his face conveys everything I am
feeling at that moment. His behaviors perfectly mimic mine, like we
are long lost twins. He's the only
one who understands me.
So this is my life. I have many feelings, and have tried to convey as
many of them as I could in
this paper. My name is Claire, and I am a dog.
Caleb's "Rose the Mermaid" paper to come!
3/2/08
fake homework
And I'd been thinking how wonderful it was that we have made it to March without anyone getting the flu...
Maybe the flu missed us after being away for so long. We are pretty famous, you know. Usually the flu comes between Thanksgiving and Christmas (Trish's favorite time of year...) but it's been busy with everyone else this year and didn't come till this weekend.
Dad hasn't moved in 3 days, a few of the Russell kids have it, and the grandKrugs have it too. I'm trying to clean alot and get some laundry done because it's only a matter of time before the rest of us can't move. The kids are eating fruit as fast as they can to try and protect themselves. I, unfortunately, can't eat anything.
I went to my orthodontist on Friday for what I thought was my final appointment before getting my braces off. Not so fast, he says, and sadly tells me that his people put the wrong wires on my teeth last time which has evidently given me an overbite. So to fix it, he put these horrible springs in that remind me of the Stone Age because of how ridiculously large they are and said to come back in 2 months. Oh, and, by the way, you can only eat mashed potatoes, jello, and pudding until then. And he was right. I can't chew anything. So if you have any leftover mashed potatoes, be sure to let me know.
A few days ago I went in to see my super cool anesthesiologists, who are my favorite doctors. I told them right away that there was no way I would ever take another dose of oxycontin and that it was the worst drug ever invented. (It is, in case you didn't know.) They were actually very nice about it and switched me to something else which is probably the best drug ever invented. The OC was fine with controlling pain, but the side effects were awful. Now, I've gotten fairly used to drug side effects and I'm not much of a complainer. I know that with every good drug comes 5 bad side effects and for the most part, I'm willing to pay the price for pain management and symptom relief. I stayed on the OC for almost 2 years before saying anything but when school started, I just couldn't handle it anymore. It made me so foggy and I completely had to give up control of my mind and body to the drug. I could not pay attention in class and was very mentally detached from whatever I was doing. Not good for school. So they understood my whining and put me on something else that is wonderful at knocking out pain while still letting me drive, take notes in class, have a conversation, and play my piano. So I'm pretty happy.
School is...alot. That's all I can say about it. I really wish that I could have eased back into school instead of going from nothing for 3 years, to 15 hours all at once. It has been making my symptoms worse but I don't think they're as bad as when I was working. I still have not missed a class yet and I thought I would have missed several by now. So that's good I guess. The people in my classes either think I'm a freak for being so conservative and not cheating on tests, or they think I'm the smartest person they've ever met. So I tell them I'm the dumbest person I've ever met to make them feel better.
On Wednesday of last week, we had to turn in papers for Psychology that explained who we are on the inside. Our professor wanted us to detail all of our thoughts, emotions, behaviors and habits, and feelings to him in a 5 page paper. Doesn't he know I don't have any feelings??! "Hearts are organs." I was so upset by this and disgusted by the thought that this guy is going to know more about me than he should, I decided to protest. I enlisted Shelley and Caleb to write 2 fake papers for me. Of course, I actually wrote my real paper and turned it in, so don't think I'm skipping out on the assignment. But, in addition to my real paper, Caleb and Shelley wrote papers detailing the emotions, behaviors, and thoughts of a dog named Claire and a mermaid named Rose. Yes, they made these characters have very screwed up emotions, real thoughts, and weird habits. It was great. We typed them out so they looked official, with the appropriate title pages and all. Of course, my name is nowhere on the papers so he probably won't know who wrote them. I turned them in on Wednesday and will hopefully learn something about their "grades" tomorrow. And the cool thing is, we have 2 more "introspections" this semester and we're going to write Claire and Rose papers for each of them. Trish said if I was her student, she would fail me. I say that if I were her student, I would tell her that she's creepy for making me explain my deepest thoughts and feelings (of which I have none) to her. So anyway...I should find out tomorrow the fate of the dog and the mermaid and I will definitely post the results and any comments made by my professor.
Maybe the flu missed us after being away for so long. We are pretty famous, you know. Usually the flu comes between Thanksgiving and Christmas (Trish's favorite time of year...) but it's been busy with everyone else this year and didn't come till this weekend.
Dad hasn't moved in 3 days, a few of the Russell kids have it, and the grandKrugs have it too. I'm trying to clean alot and get some laundry done because it's only a matter of time before the rest of us can't move. The kids are eating fruit as fast as they can to try and protect themselves. I, unfortunately, can't eat anything.
I went to my orthodontist on Friday for what I thought was my final appointment before getting my braces off. Not so fast, he says, and sadly tells me that his people put the wrong wires on my teeth last time which has evidently given me an overbite. So to fix it, he put these horrible springs in that remind me of the Stone Age because of how ridiculously large they are and said to come back in 2 months. Oh, and, by the way, you can only eat mashed potatoes, jello, and pudding until then. And he was right. I can't chew anything. So if you have any leftover mashed potatoes, be sure to let me know.
A few days ago I went in to see my super cool anesthesiologists, who are my favorite doctors. I told them right away that there was no way I would ever take another dose of oxycontin and that it was the worst drug ever invented. (It is, in case you didn't know.) They were actually very nice about it and switched me to something else which is probably the best drug ever invented. The OC was fine with controlling pain, but the side effects were awful. Now, I've gotten fairly used to drug side effects and I'm not much of a complainer. I know that with every good drug comes 5 bad side effects and for the most part, I'm willing to pay the price for pain management and symptom relief. I stayed on the OC for almost 2 years before saying anything but when school started, I just couldn't handle it anymore. It made me so foggy and I completely had to give up control of my mind and body to the drug. I could not pay attention in class and was very mentally detached from whatever I was doing. Not good for school. So they understood my whining and put me on something else that is wonderful at knocking out pain while still letting me drive, take notes in class, have a conversation, and play my piano. So I'm pretty happy.
School is...alot. That's all I can say about it. I really wish that I could have eased back into school instead of going from nothing for 3 years, to 15 hours all at once. It has been making my symptoms worse but I don't think they're as bad as when I was working. I still have not missed a class yet and I thought I would have missed several by now. So that's good I guess. The people in my classes either think I'm a freak for being so conservative and not cheating on tests, or they think I'm the smartest person they've ever met. So I tell them I'm the dumbest person I've ever met to make them feel better.
On Wednesday of last week, we had to turn in papers for Psychology that explained who we are on the inside. Our professor wanted us to detail all of our thoughts, emotions, behaviors and habits, and feelings to him in a 5 page paper. Doesn't he know I don't have any feelings??! "Hearts are organs." I was so upset by this and disgusted by the thought that this guy is going to know more about me than he should, I decided to protest. I enlisted Shelley and Caleb to write 2 fake papers for me. Of course, I actually wrote my real paper and turned it in, so don't think I'm skipping out on the assignment. But, in addition to my real paper, Caleb and Shelley wrote papers detailing the emotions, behaviors, and thoughts of a dog named Claire and a mermaid named Rose. Yes, they made these characters have very screwed up emotions, real thoughts, and weird habits. It was great. We typed them out so they looked official, with the appropriate title pages and all. Of course, my name is nowhere on the papers so he probably won't know who wrote them. I turned them in on Wednesday and will hopefully learn something about their "grades" tomorrow. And the cool thing is, we have 2 more "introspections" this semester and we're going to write Claire and Rose papers for each of them. Trish said if I was her student, she would fail me. I say that if I were her student, I would tell her that she's creepy for making me explain my deepest thoughts and feelings (of which I have none) to her. So anyway...I should find out tomorrow the fate of the dog and the mermaid and I will definitely post the results and any comments made by my professor.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
