faithfulness

i'm sitting in my room right now listening to patty griffin and thinking about what to write. i had to turn the lights off in here so i wouldn't have to look at the mess. beth is my motivator to do anything, and she's gone so i figure that i'll worry about cleaning when she gets home. tim just walked in to give me some tea that dad sent up for me, and on his way out the door he paused to look at beth's new dart board and said, "oh my gosh. beth is so dead. i am so going to beat her at darts." so...maybe we won't be cleaning tonight after all. :)

it's hard to believe the year is almost over. exactly a year ago today the slaughters drove away to virginia. i can't believe they haven't been here for a whole year. maybe that's because i've been up there several times this year, but still... a whole year?
2005 was a year of a lot of heartache and pain for our family, so i was happy to put that year to rest 12 months ago. but 2006 has been a year of healing and starting over and i'm sitting here so thankful for the way the Lord has mended what was broken. as i think back to this day last year and how a certain level of despair hung over me, my family, our church, and our friends, and now to look at where we all are today is incredible. we've seen the Lord work in such amazing ways and bless us in ways that we thought were impossible last year. God has graciously taken away much of the physical pain this year for me, mom, samuel, and others in the family. He has united our church and restored many broken and wounded relationships there. He has given us new friendships and allowed to us meet and get to know some of the extended family. He has strengthened bonds and relationships within my own family, and created new dynamics to those relationships that we had never known. He has seen all of us through many days of change, has been patient with our own stubbornness to accept those changes, and as we watch His hand at work He continually reminds us that His ways are perfect.
one of my struggles throughout the last 2 years has been keeping perspective. it's a hard thing to grasp in the middle of any kind of suffering and it's been difficult for me to raise my head up out of our circumstances and look at the larger picture. i'll never master it, but it helps to think back to last year and know that if we hadn't gone through those long months of uncertainty and brokenness, we wouldn't have been able to really experience the Lord's healing and grace this year. we still have a long road ahead of us and i'm sure we'll be met with difficult situations again, but i hope that when that happens, i'll always remember this year and be reminded of God's great faithfulness.


all the way my Savior leads me, what have i to ask beside?
can i doubt His tender mercies, who through life has been my guide?
heavenly peace, divinest comfort, here by faith in Him to dwell
for i know whate're befall me, Jesus doeth all things well!

all the way my Savior leads me, cheers each winding path i tread.
gives me strength for every trial, feeds me with the Living Bread.
though my weary steps may faulter, and my soul athirst may be,
gushing from a Rock before me, lo, a Spring of joy i see.

all the way my Savior leads me, oh the fullness of His love!
perfect rest to me is promised in my Father's house above.
when my spirit, clothed immortal, wings its flight to realms of day
this my song through endless ages, Jesus lead me all the way.