Only at the Warren House

Scenes from today that made us laugh really hard.

{Tim and I are at the house, everybody else is gone. I'm getting ready to leave}

Me: Tim, I'm leaving to go pick up the kids so you'll be here alone for a little while. Will you be ok?
Tim: Yes, Sis, I'll be okay. This will be the fifth time I've been home alone.
Me: Good, I'm glad you're counting. Remember, don't answer the phone unless it's family and do---
Tim: I know, I know, don't answer the door unless it's someone from church.
Me: And call Aubrey or me if you need anything or if something bad happens. Do you know our phone numbers?
Tim: Yes, I know them. But don't worry Sis, I won't need to call you or Aubrey while you're gone. Because if someone bad comes in the house, I can take care of it and I won't need to call you. You know why? Because I have a gold belt in Tae Kwon Do.


{At a restaurant, eating dinner this evening}

Nate: Dad, do you think God loves the non-elect?
Dad: Well, that's a very good question and I think we could have some good discussion about that.
Nate: I mean, God said he loved Jacob and hated Esau, so does that mean he hates everyone who's not saved?
Me: Even if we were to say "yes" or "no" to that question, I don't think our human understanding of the words "love" and "hatred" can fully define the way---
Shelley: Well, here's what I think. I think that if God chose us before the foundation of the world-- [furrows brow] I totally forgot what I was going to say. [scratches head] Man, and I had something really good to say!
Mom: You're getting blonder every day, honey.


{Tonight, right before Mom went to bed}

Dad: Okay kids, everybody come in here for prayer time!
[All of us run into Dad and Mom's room and gather on or around their bed]
Dad: Our main prayer tonight is obviously for Mom's surgery tomorrow. It's not the most major surgery in the world, but still, it's surgery.
Mom: Right John, not major?! They're putting a dead guy's bone inside my leg!
Nate: Mom you should be happy. That guy's memory will live on inside of you!
Dad: Yeah, like when they do the eye transplants and people start seeing visions of what the dead guy saw!
Beth: Or heart transplants where every once in a while the heart will skip a beat or they'll have an emotional feeling if they're around something that relates to the dead guy.
Caleb: Mom, this pretty much means you're going to start walking like that dead guy.
Nate: Yep, pretty soon, someone's going to come up to you and say, "You walk just like someone I used to know!"
Mom: Okay, can we pray already??!!