Well, the first day of classes went better than expected. Or at least, better than I expected. All 4 of my professors (5 classes, 1 prof for 2 classes) are nice men and I think that all of my classes, with the exception of math, will be fun and non-boring. Except for math, they're all upper level courses that have more work than I had in any of my classes way back when. Hopefully I will be able to pace myself and not get burned out while trying hard not to get behind.
Being on campus today felt weird. It was the first time I'd been there since September 27, 2005. Why I remember the exact day, I don't know. Oh yeah, it was the day the world fell apart. As I was walking the halls, the memory of that day came flooding back to me. I had my first seizure in the parking lot of the school that day and as it was dying down and I was trying to figure out who I was and where I was, my best friend texted me from our chemistry class telling me our professor was going to drop me if I didn't show up. I had already missed almost every class because I was already sick and didn't know it. I remember being freaked out about having to tell my parents I'd been dropped from a class, so despite the agonizing pain in my head, I decided to stumble in to the building and sit through class. Everything was moving in slow motion, sounds were muffled, and it all looked blurry. I must have looked terrible as I entered the classroom because just as I opened the door, my friend and our professor ran over, pushed me out of the room and shut the door. I couldn't tell them what was wrong because I could hardly speak, so the prof told me to go home and not to come back until I was coherent. I walked back to my car and never went back to school.
In the long months following that day as I tried to come to grips with my crumbled life, I pushed away anything that had to do with who I was before that day. I didn't want to go back to the castle I lived in or see my apartment, I couldn't look at any of my cute decorations and kitchen stuff that made my place homey, I couldn't talk to my friends, I couldn't listen to the same music or watch the same movies, I couldn't read any of my books from school or go back to the school, I couldn't ride in my car, I couldn't go downtown, I couldn't wear my old clothes, and I couldn't look at any pictures of life. I pushed everything away in a huge effort to forget everything that had made my life fabulous. In the back of my mind though, I thought I was waiting to get better, to be cured, and then I would go back to all of that. I seriously thought that I would lie in bed, wait to be fixed, that I would be magically healthy in one day and then I would have my life back. On September 27, 2005, I also thought that I would be fine in 6 weeks.
As time has worn on and almost 120 weeks have passed now, reality has set in and I know that I cannot sit on my bed waiting for the day when I'm healthy again. It has occurred to me just in the last several months that I may never be healthy. It's possible that I will live the rest of my life like this, and sitting on a bed is no way to live it.
So with the help of my family and church family, in the last year I've been trying to take steps to live a somewhat normal life in spite of my problems, and to try and create a life around me that will allow me to function but still be flexible enough to handle my problems. That probably makes no sense, but it's late...
Anyway, in the last year I've been purposefully exposing myself to some of those things I was pushing away...parts of my old life. I wanted to try to deal with them and accept my life the way it is now instead of trying to bury my old self and never think about it again. I was becoming emotionally stunted by being content with bitterness and not accepting life the way it was.
I'm going back to school knowing that I'm not the same person I was on September 27, 2005, but also knowing that I can't bury myself by avoiding that school and everything else. Although painful, going back to school on the same campus, in the same classrooms, with some of the same professors, in the same car, listening to the same music, and buying DrPepper from the same vending machines, are just a few of the steps essential to me moving on.
1/13/08
school things
So many things going on...
Mom and I drove Nathan up to school today. Poor guy was so nervous, even though he didn't admit it. He was trying to find every excuse to stay home an hour longer and once we got him into his dorm, he tried to convince us that he needed to come back home, spend the night, and go back to school tomorrow. I don't see why...he has a very fancy dorm that really shouldn't even be called a dorm. We're not really sure how he weaseled his way into that building instead of the REAL freshman dorms, so he won't have anything to complain about to any of the other freshmen. We met one of his three roommates and he seemed pretty nice. Nate's still not so sure about him, so he's keeping his brand new bike in his closet instead of the bike rack outside. :)
Beth and I head to school tomorrow. Yes, Cathryn Warren is back in school after a 5-semester absence. I'm taking 5 classes, which is kind of scary, but I'm trying not to think about the scary part. Here are some cool things I've found out so far:
My ethics prof is a Christian. At a public school. How weird/exciting is that?
My A&P prof is the husband of one of the head nurses in charge of me at the hospital. Very cool. I'll probably get in good with him.
Because of losing so much brain function in the last 3 years, I was worried about things like math classes. So I (stupidly) went to the school to take the math entrance exam again, to see if I could score where I had last time. I didn't know that the score was binding and I got an ungodly low score, so they stuck me in a remedial class. Ha! I never thought I'd be in a remedial math class. Instead of crying about it, I'm totally laughing and am the first to make fun of myself when anyone brings it up. The good thing is that I probably won't have to work as hard as I would if I'd just taken the class above what I took last time.
My classes are all on Mon/Wed which means I get to "celebrate" all major holidays since they usually fall on a Monday.
Beth's classes are on the same days at the same times. So...if I'm having a bad day and really don't think I can get out of bed to go to school, she will be there to force me since I am her driver. No skipping class for me.
My ethics class in online, so I can say whatever I want about whatever I want and nobody can yell at me.
Since I am a little (no, alot) nervous about tomorrow and the whole semester, I was planning on posting all the things that are making me that nervous. But I didn't that would help me be any less nervous, so I posted cool things. Maybe that will help.
Actually, I will post a few things, and I will disguise them as prayer requests. Please pray for:
My ability to focus and concentrate during classes. This is a big struggle for me, mostly because of the drugs I am on. I usually feel like I'm not really in whatever situation I'm in, but instead I'm just looking down watching myself. I never really feel connected to what's going on. So, please pray that I would be "in the moment" while in class.
That I will comprehend everything I hear and see. As a result of major pain and drugs, it's very hard for me to understand what is being said or what I'm reading. I usually have to read something 5-10 times for it to mean anything other than Greek to me. Same with listening--with people I know well, basically family and church, I will ask them to repeat what they're saying 5-10 times before I understand what they're saying. With people I don't know very well, I'll usually just look at the faces of anyone around to gauge what kind of reaction I'm supposed to have to what was said. If that makes any sense... Anyway, it would be very helpful to know what the profs are saying.
That I will not get discouraged if I don't understand or can't do something that everyone else can do. I know I'll have to work twice as hard as I used to just to make a passing grade and I'm going to need reminders not to worry about it.
That I will have minimal pain and mental disfunction while at school so I won't have to take alot of meds.
That I will keep a good attitude and maintain a long-term perspective.
Thank you so much! I'll post tomorrow and let you know how everything went. :)
Mom and I drove Nathan up to school today. Poor guy was so nervous, even though he didn't admit it. He was trying to find every excuse to stay home an hour longer and once we got him into his dorm, he tried to convince us that he needed to come back home, spend the night, and go back to school tomorrow. I don't see why...he has a very fancy dorm that really shouldn't even be called a dorm. We're not really sure how he weaseled his way into that building instead of the REAL freshman dorms, so he won't have anything to complain about to any of the other freshmen. We met one of his three roommates and he seemed pretty nice. Nate's still not so sure about him, so he's keeping his brand new bike in his closet instead of the bike rack outside. :)
Beth and I head to school tomorrow. Yes, Cathryn Warren is back in school after a 5-semester absence. I'm taking 5 classes, which is kind of scary, but I'm trying not to think about the scary part. Here are some cool things I've found out so far:
My ethics prof is a Christian. At a public school. How weird/exciting is that?
My A&P prof is the husband of one of the head nurses in charge of me at the hospital. Very cool. I'll probably get in good with him.
Because of losing so much brain function in the last 3 years, I was worried about things like math classes. So I (stupidly) went to the school to take the math entrance exam again, to see if I could score where I had last time. I didn't know that the score was binding and I got an ungodly low score, so they stuck me in a remedial class. Ha! I never thought I'd be in a remedial math class. Instead of crying about it, I'm totally laughing and am the first to make fun of myself when anyone brings it up. The good thing is that I probably won't have to work as hard as I would if I'd just taken the class above what I took last time.
My classes are all on Mon/Wed which means I get to "celebrate" all major holidays since they usually fall on a Monday.
Beth's classes are on the same days at the same times. So...if I'm having a bad day and really don't think I can get out of bed to go to school, she will be there to force me since I am her driver. No skipping class for me.
My ethics class in online, so I can say whatever I want about whatever I want and nobody can yell at me.
Since I am a little (no, alot) nervous about tomorrow and the whole semester, I was planning on posting all the things that are making me that nervous. But I didn't that would help me be any less nervous, so I posted cool things. Maybe that will help.
Actually, I will post a few things, and I will disguise them as prayer requests. Please pray for:
My ability to focus and concentrate during classes. This is a big struggle for me, mostly because of the drugs I am on. I usually feel like I'm not really in whatever situation I'm in, but instead I'm just looking down watching myself. I never really feel connected to what's going on. So, please pray that I would be "in the moment" while in class.
That I will comprehend everything I hear and see. As a result of major pain and drugs, it's very hard for me to understand what is being said or what I'm reading. I usually have to read something 5-10 times for it to mean anything other than Greek to me. Same with listening--with people I know well, basically family and church, I will ask them to repeat what they're saying 5-10 times before I understand what they're saying. With people I don't know very well, I'll usually just look at the faces of anyone around to gauge what kind of reaction I'm supposed to have to what was said. If that makes any sense... Anyway, it would be very helpful to know what the profs are saying.
That I will not get discouraged if I don't understand or can't do something that everyone else can do. I know I'll have to work twice as hard as I used to just to make a passing grade and I'm going to need reminders not to worry about it.
That I will have minimal pain and mental disfunction while at school so I won't have to take alot of meds.
That I will keep a good attitude and maintain a long-term perspective.
Thank you so much! I'll post tomorrow and let you know how everything went. :)
1/5/08
a Christmas Calamity
In September, my mom and I had the great idea to start a kid's Christmas musical at our church. COG is very small, just under 20 families. Most of the families have several children, so Mom and I thought we could easily get enough kids to work with. Because it was September and we were just then thinking about, we had to work very quickly. We decided to do a Psalty play because Psalty's our favorite. Every family in church signed up and we ended up with a group of 35 kids. Shelley, Beth, and I split up the directing jobs and recruited all the teenagers in the church to help us. We also, somehow, convinced a few adults to help us out, found a very willing man to play Psalty, and in the end we had a great play. Here's a few pictures from our all day rehearsal at our house, the day before the performance.
Trying to get the kids into positions for different songs...Probably the hardest part.
The smallest kids got tired very quickly, so Nate's job was to periodically get them off the deck and let them run around and climb trees.
And somtimes we had to call him in to change a few attitudes, if you know what I mean.
During practice for one of the kids' favorite songs, "Fix It", Beth and I had to demonstrate for the girls exactly how to "stretch" Psalty.
The constant reminders to SMILE!
The 3 (Burger) Kings :):):)
Scarf dancers!
executive director, technical director, musical director... I loved working with my sisters!
Dad's a big fan of scaring little girls.
more pics of the actual performance later!
Trying to get the kids into positions for different songs...Probably the hardest part.
The smallest kids got tired very quickly, so Nate's job was to periodically get them off the deck and let them run around and climb trees.
And somtimes we had to call him in to change a few attitudes, if you know what I mean.
During practice for one of the kids' favorite songs, "Fix It", Beth and I had to demonstrate for the girls exactly how to "stretch" Psalty.
The constant reminders to SMILE!
The 3 (Burger) Kings :):):)
Scarf dancers!
executive director, technical director, musical director... I loved working with my sisters!
Dad's a big fan of scaring little girls.
more pics of the actual performance later!
1/2/08
to blog or not to blog
Sorry I've been MIA for so long... It's been so crazy busy around here that we've barely had time to eat and sleep, much less blog. You might say, "Well, your mom has been blogging, so it must not be too busy!" I will tell you that Mom has lately been blogging only at night. She uses "bedtime" for things like blogging, reading, sewing, and Fox News. I use "bedtime" for sleeping. So yeah, I'm a failure. At blogging, that is.
With so much going on, there's way too much to post about. I will set aside some future posts for topics that need their own post such as the COG Psalty musical that my sisters and I directed, a health update, and a rundown of what my life will be like this next semester.
We just finished our marathon New Years parties at our house. For the first time since...ever, we had TWO parties in less that 24 hours at our house. The Warren version of a "party" is very different from the typical understanding of the word. Instead of loud music, dancing, fancy clothes, and cocktails, the parties at our house are usually an all-day affair and look more like jeans and tshirts, paper plates, 50+ people, more kids than adults, enough homemade food to feed the city, lots of soda, board games and card games galore, trampoline fun, football, and lots and lots of laughing. And the people we invite actually come!
Anyway, we had a New Years Eve Party that went well into the night. I think we had close to 45 people and I think everyone had fun watching fireworks and playing games. As midnight approached, several of us ran upstairs to my bedroom, climbed out of one of the windows and sat on the roof to get a better view of the fireworks. We had some blankets and sleeping bags (it was cold) and it was pretty cool to get a view of the whole neighborhood and beyond as the new year rolled in.
The highlight of the night was when, as we were laying on the roof waiting for midnight, Amy (one of our friends from church) said, "This is the best New Years Eve party I've EVER been to!" In my usual sarcastic tone I said, "Hm...you must not get to many New Years Eve parties then." Amy thought a minute and then replied, "Yeah, now that I think about it, we've always been stuck at home and have never been to one!" So yes, our parties ROCK....if you've never been to one before.
Less than 12 hours later, our next group of partiers arrived to celebrate the first day of the year. We had around 35 people for this one and we sat around watching the college bowl games, we ate ALL day long, broke out the guitars and had a jam session around the piano, and again played alot of board games. Mom showed a couple of the ladies what a sweet and warm family we are when she refused to offer them food until they registered for the annual WholeHearted Mother Conference. Mom brought her laptop into the kitchen and pulled the website up. Being quite hungry and smelling the good food, the two ladies gave up and registered right there. They were then allowed to eat. :)
The highlight of the day came during a 4-hour long (I am not exaggerating in the least) game of Cranium:Turbo Edition. Beth was on a team with our sweet friend and long-lost sister, Blair. It was their turn so I pulled out a card and told them that they had to spell a few words backwards. The way that Cranium works, your team has to spell the word together--one person says one letter, the next person says the next letter and so on. Ok, so the word was "licorice" and they had to spell it backwards. Blair says, "H." I was on a team with our other long-lost sister (there's alot of them) Stephanie, and we both started laughing. Beth didn't see the problem and said, "S." By the time Blair got to the letter "I" everyone at the table was laughing at them and to spare them further embarrassment, I just handed them the card. I think I said something about Blair being blond so she yelled back at me, "Oh yeah? Well you.... [she couldn't find a very good insult for me] You have botox!"
I'm feeling pretty good today because I owned the Bowl Games yesterday. Ever since I can remember, every year my family competes in the Annual College Football Bowl Championship Contest where we pick who we think will win each bowl game. Whoever has the most wins at the end of the season wins the contest. We had a meager beginning with only a few of us in the the family participating and competing for one small blizzard from Dairy Queen. Now the ACFBCC is much more sophisticated with 50 participants (we invite a select few from outside the family), 2 divisions, a commissioner, regional assistants, official bowl sheets, weekly email news updates regarding current standings, big arguments over "misrepresentation of our bowl picks" (aka: losing), and I think that 7 blizzards are now on the prize table. This is one of the biggest events of the year for our family and our secret friends. We spend days and weeks agonizing over our picks before sending them to the commissioner. We have to consider the teams themselves, starting lineups, coaches, location of the game, regular season records, strength of schedules, our own loyalties, prophecy from above, alignment of the planets, and many other things. It's very serious. Losers have been prone to severe bouts of depression and temporary insanity. Anyway, the reason I'm happy is because I had a losing record this year until yesterday, when I took home wins for all 6 New Years games. Out of all 50 people, I was the only person to win all 6. That's what I'm talkin' about!
With so much going on, there's way too much to post about. I will set aside some future posts for topics that need their own post such as the COG Psalty musical that my sisters and I directed, a health update, and a rundown of what my life will be like this next semester.
We just finished our marathon New Years parties at our house. For the first time since...ever, we had TWO parties in less that 24 hours at our house. The Warren version of a "party" is very different from the typical understanding of the word. Instead of loud music, dancing, fancy clothes, and cocktails, the parties at our house are usually an all-day affair and look more like jeans and tshirts, paper plates, 50+ people, more kids than adults, enough homemade food to feed the city, lots of soda, board games and card games galore, trampoline fun, football, and lots and lots of laughing. And the people we invite actually come!
Anyway, we had a New Years Eve Party that went well into the night. I think we had close to 45 people and I think everyone had fun watching fireworks and playing games. As midnight approached, several of us ran upstairs to my bedroom, climbed out of one of the windows and sat on the roof to get a better view of the fireworks. We had some blankets and sleeping bags (it was cold) and it was pretty cool to get a view of the whole neighborhood and beyond as the new year rolled in.
The highlight of the night was when, as we were laying on the roof waiting for midnight, Amy (one of our friends from church) said, "This is the best New Years Eve party I've EVER been to!" In my usual sarcastic tone I said, "Hm...you must not get to many New Years Eve parties then." Amy thought a minute and then replied, "Yeah, now that I think about it, we've always been stuck at home and have never been to one!" So yes, our parties ROCK....if you've never been to one before.
Less than 12 hours later, our next group of partiers arrived to celebrate the first day of the year. We had around 35 people for this one and we sat around watching the college bowl games, we ate ALL day long, broke out the guitars and had a jam session around the piano, and again played alot of board games. Mom showed a couple of the ladies what a sweet and warm family we are when she refused to offer them food until they registered for the annual WholeHearted Mother Conference. Mom brought her laptop into the kitchen and pulled the website up. Being quite hungry and smelling the good food, the two ladies gave up and registered right there. They were then allowed to eat. :)
The highlight of the day came during a 4-hour long (I am not exaggerating in the least) game of Cranium:Turbo Edition. Beth was on a team with our sweet friend and long-lost sister, Blair. It was their turn so I pulled out a card and told them that they had to spell a few words backwards. The way that Cranium works, your team has to spell the word together--one person says one letter, the next person says the next letter and so on. Ok, so the word was "licorice" and they had to spell it backwards. Blair says, "H." I was on a team with our other long-lost sister (there's alot of them) Stephanie, and we both started laughing. Beth didn't see the problem and said, "S." By the time Blair got to the letter "I" everyone at the table was laughing at them and to spare them further embarrassment, I just handed them the card. I think I said something about Blair being blond so she yelled back at me, "Oh yeah? Well you.... [she couldn't find a very good insult for me] You have botox!"
I'm feeling pretty good today because I owned the Bowl Games yesterday. Ever since I can remember, every year my family competes in the Annual College Football Bowl Championship Contest where we pick who we think will win each bowl game. Whoever has the most wins at the end of the season wins the contest. We had a meager beginning with only a few of us in the the family participating and competing for one small blizzard from Dairy Queen. Now the ACFBCC is much more sophisticated with 50 participants (we invite a select few from outside the family), 2 divisions, a commissioner, regional assistants, official bowl sheets, weekly email news updates regarding current standings, big arguments over "misrepresentation of our bowl picks" (aka: losing), and I think that 7 blizzards are now on the prize table. This is one of the biggest events of the year for our family and our secret friends. We spend days and weeks agonizing over our picks before sending them to the commissioner. We have to consider the teams themselves, starting lineups, coaches, location of the game, regular season records, strength of schedules, our own loyalties, prophecy from above, alignment of the planets, and many other things. It's very serious. Losers have been prone to severe bouts of depression and temporary insanity. Anyway, the reason I'm happy is because I had a losing record this year until yesterday, when I took home wins for all 6 New Years games. Out of all 50 people, I was the only person to win all 6. That's what I'm talkin' about!
11/28/07
stuff
Time for an update I guess. There's alot going on and life is chaotic, but we're managing just fine. Mom is healing nicely, she's able to walk more and more without her walker, and she felt well enough today for me to take her to get her hair cut. These are all good things.
Thanksgiving was great. We had around 50 people here and more than enough food to go around. Thanksgiving at our house has always been an all-day affair and this year was no different--we had people stay from 11:30am till 10pm. It was definitely loud and crowded but we all had so much fun together. From playing football, to cooking the last minute food, to watching the Macy's parade, to eating all the food, to watching the football games, to eating desserts, to walking the dogs around the neighborhood, to taking alot of pictures, to playing board games, to eating more food, to telling funny stories, to listening to the kids play, to jumping on the trampoline, to rocking babies to sleep, it was a good day. I was so grateful that all the families that were here didn't mind a bit that it wasn't as fancy as previous years or that things weren't as organized as Mom usually has them. Everybody understood that we were down a Mom and a Beth, so we just all kicked back and had a good time.
Well, I registered for school last week. I'm just going to take 14 hours in the spring...not nearly as much as I used to take, but I figure it's better to start back slowly. Only one class will be online and all the rest will be on campus. I decided to go ahead and start where I left off (on the nursing track) and just see what happens. After researching and weighing my options over the last few months, I couldn't think of anything else I really wanted to do besides nursing. I really have no idea if the nursing school will let me do the clinical training required to graduate, but I'll go ahead and finish all the classroom hours I can and then worry about the clinicals later. Maybe I'll be in a different position health-wise by then.
I could probably write a book on my thoughts about going back to school and maybe I will write a post on that soon, but for now I'll just say that I'm quite nervous and I need constant reminders not to worry about it. It's still 6 weeks away though, so hopefully I'll get all my worrying out of the way by then. :)
It's been a month since I quit my job and I have not regretted that decision for a single day. I knew when I quit that it was the right thing to do, but I still thought I'd look back after a few weeks and be sad. Nope. I feel nothing but relief every time I think about it. Most of that is probably due to the fact that my parents need me around the house right now and I'm able to take over Mom's place while she's down. And even when I'm sitting at home doing nothing, it's just a relief to know that if someone needs me, I'm available. Available is something I definitely was not during my 60 hour work weeks.
I've also noticed a huge change in how I'm feeling since I quit. The muscle tension and and my overall stress level has greatly decreased and that has made an incredible difference in how I feel. And it just feels good to be home. Home is good.
I'm leaving for Virginia on Saturday! I'll be up there for 3 weeks and hopefully Baby Judah will cooperate and decide to come early so I can spend lots of time holding him. It will be a fun (oh, and freezing) trip and I can't wait to meet Judah and see the rest of the kids!
I have a post in the works of more Funny Warren Moments, since it seemed to be such a big hit last time. stay tuned!
Thanksgiving was great. We had around 50 people here and more than enough food to go around. Thanksgiving at our house has always been an all-day affair and this year was no different--we had people stay from 11:30am till 10pm. It was definitely loud and crowded but we all had so much fun together. From playing football, to cooking the last minute food, to watching the Macy's parade, to eating all the food, to watching the football games, to eating desserts, to walking the dogs around the neighborhood, to taking alot of pictures, to playing board games, to eating more food, to telling funny stories, to listening to the kids play, to jumping on the trampoline, to rocking babies to sleep, it was a good day. I was so grateful that all the families that were here didn't mind a bit that it wasn't as fancy as previous years or that things weren't as organized as Mom usually has them. Everybody understood that we were down a Mom and a Beth, so we just all kicked back and had a good time.
Well, I registered for school last week. I'm just going to take 14 hours in the spring...not nearly as much as I used to take, but I figure it's better to start back slowly. Only one class will be online and all the rest will be on campus. I decided to go ahead and start where I left off (on the nursing track) and just see what happens. After researching and weighing my options over the last few months, I couldn't think of anything else I really wanted to do besides nursing. I really have no idea if the nursing school will let me do the clinical training required to graduate, but I'll go ahead and finish all the classroom hours I can and then worry about the clinicals later. Maybe I'll be in a different position health-wise by then.
I could probably write a book on my thoughts about going back to school and maybe I will write a post on that soon, but for now I'll just say that I'm quite nervous and I need constant reminders not to worry about it. It's still 6 weeks away though, so hopefully I'll get all my worrying out of the way by then. :)
It's been a month since I quit my job and I have not regretted that decision for a single day. I knew when I quit that it was the right thing to do, but I still thought I'd look back after a few weeks and be sad. Nope. I feel nothing but relief every time I think about it. Most of that is probably due to the fact that my parents need me around the house right now and I'm able to take over Mom's place while she's down. And even when I'm sitting at home doing nothing, it's just a relief to know that if someone needs me, I'm available. Available is something I definitely was not during my 60 hour work weeks.
I've also noticed a huge change in how I'm feeling since I quit. The muscle tension and and my overall stress level has greatly decreased and that has made an incredible difference in how I feel. And it just feels good to be home. Home is good.
I'm leaving for Virginia on Saturday! I'll be up there for 3 weeks and hopefully Baby Judah will cooperate and decide to come early so I can spend lots of time holding him. It will be a fun (oh, and freezing) trip and I can't wait to meet Judah and see the rest of the kids!
I have a post in the works of more Funny Warren Moments, since it seemed to be such a big hit last time. stay tuned!
11/11/07
encouragement
It's been a long week. Mom had surgery on Wednesday, but it feels like a month ago. Since then, it's been a whirlwind around here. On Wednesday, the surgery took longer than expected so I waited with Dad and Aubrey for what seemed like alot longer than 5 hours and thankfully, some great men from church met us at the hospital and kept us from going crazy. The recovery time didn't go nearly as well as expected, with her going from hypothermic to feverish within a few hours. Morphine didn't want to help her ( I was having flashbacks of when I was in the hospital) so it's been difficult to keep her pain under control. What the doctors said would be a 24 hour hospital stay ended up being an almost 4 day ordeal. And Dad, ever the steady one, sat in that chair beside her bed the entire time. I took Aubrey and the kids back and forth to the hospital, answered our ringing-off-the-hook phone (we're pretty sure Mom and Dad know every person in the world), tried to keep the house together, and kept the over-dramatic Timothy from suicide because he thought Mom was surely dying. I cannot tell you how many times I've thanked the Lord for making me quit my job last week instead of next week. Although it's been stressful here at the house, I would gone out of my mind if I'd been at work the whole time and not been able to help with everything here.
So once Mom came home, she hasn't been sleeping much, she's talking like a crazy person, can't walk by herself and, did I mention, she talks like a crazy person from the drugs? (Beth and Shelley are standing here and they say I'm hardly one to talk about that... :) All that means that Dad hasn't been sleeping much, doesn't really leave Mom's side, helps her do everything, makes all her food and drinks, gives her her meds, and always makes sure she's as comfortable as possible. He probably wouldn't admit it, but we know he's exhausted.
On top of all this, there's still normal life to deal with: school, piano lessons, TaeKwonDo, cleaning, meals, laundry, church stuff that comes up every day, and of course answering the main house phone and all 5 cell phones to assure all 982 people that have called that even though Mom hasn't touched her blog in a week, she is really not dead.
Anyway, by this morning when we were getting ready to leave for church, we were all walking around like zombies. Everyone, including me, was looking for any excuse to stay home today so we had to remind ourselves that worship is not about how we feel, it's about the One who made us and sustains us. So we stumble into church, half alive, and a sweet lady pulls me aside to talk to me. She said that she knew it had been a hard week for us and we could be assured that everyone in that church was praying for us. She went on to say that she had had a very hard month and that every time she was tempted to give up and stop trying or to fall apart and cry, she looked to me and my family for inspiration and encouragement to keep going. She said that seeing us at church with smiles on our faces, helping everyone else and making sure everyone was doing okay, gave her strength to keep walking and to trust the Lord in all things. She said that she could see the light of Christ in us and she knew that the Lord was working in us through this difficult time and that the Lord was working on her because of it.
Wow. It was definitely an encouragement to me, but a slap in the face at the same time. It was great to see that at our weakest point, the Lord was still working in us and using us to be an example to others. It was also humbling to hear that on the very day that I had thought about giving up, not going to church, sleeping for the entire day, and not dealing with anymore problems. So now I know that one of the reasons we were at church today is because other people needed to see us there and needed to know that even when we're at the bottom, we don't give up because our hope is still in Christ and Christ is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
So...we're praying this next week is a little better, that Mom makes great strides in recovering, that Dad gets some much needed rest, that the kids relax and stop worrying about life, and that we all will rely on the Lord, knowing that He holds us all in His hands.
So once Mom came home, she hasn't been sleeping much, she's talking like a crazy person, can't walk by herself and, did I mention, she talks like a crazy person from the drugs? (Beth and Shelley are standing here and they say I'm hardly one to talk about that... :) All that means that Dad hasn't been sleeping much, doesn't really leave Mom's side, helps her do everything, makes all her food and drinks, gives her her meds, and always makes sure she's as comfortable as possible. He probably wouldn't admit it, but we know he's exhausted.
On top of all this, there's still normal life to deal with: school, piano lessons, TaeKwonDo, cleaning, meals, laundry, church stuff that comes up every day, and of course answering the main house phone and all 5 cell phones to assure all 982 people that have called that even though Mom hasn't touched her blog in a week, she is really not dead.
Anyway, by this morning when we were getting ready to leave for church, we were all walking around like zombies. Everyone, including me, was looking for any excuse to stay home today so we had to remind ourselves that worship is not about how we feel, it's about the One who made us and sustains us. So we stumble into church, half alive, and a sweet lady pulls me aside to talk to me. She said that she knew it had been a hard week for us and we could be assured that everyone in that church was praying for us. She went on to say that she had had a very hard month and that every time she was tempted to give up and stop trying or to fall apart and cry, she looked to me and my family for inspiration and encouragement to keep going. She said that seeing us at church with smiles on our faces, helping everyone else and making sure everyone was doing okay, gave her strength to keep walking and to trust the Lord in all things. She said that she could see the light of Christ in us and she knew that the Lord was working in us through this difficult time and that the Lord was working on her because of it.
Wow. It was definitely an encouragement to me, but a slap in the face at the same time. It was great to see that at our weakest point, the Lord was still working in us and using us to be an example to others. It was also humbling to hear that on the very day that I had thought about giving up, not going to church, sleeping for the entire day, and not dealing with anymore problems. So now I know that one of the reasons we were at church today is because other people needed to see us there and needed to know that even when we're at the bottom, we don't give up because our hope is still in Christ and Christ is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
So...we're praying this next week is a little better, that Mom makes great strides in recovering, that Dad gets some much needed rest, that the kids relax and stop worrying about life, and that we all will rely on the Lord, knowing that He holds us all in His hands.
11/6/07
Only at the Warren House
Scenes from today that made us laugh really hard.
{Tim and I are at the house, everybody else is gone. I'm getting ready to leave}
Me: Tim, I'm leaving to go pick up the kids so you'll be here alone for a little while. Will you be ok?
Tim: Yes, Sis, I'll be okay. This will be the fifth time I've been home alone.
Me: Good, I'm glad you're counting. Remember, don't answer the phone unless it's family and do---
Tim: I know, I know, don't answer the door unless it's someone from church.
Me: And call Aubrey or me if you need anything or if something bad happens. Do you know our phone numbers?
Tim: Yes, I know them. But don't worry Sis, I won't need to call you or Aubrey while you're gone. Because if someone bad comes in the house, I can take care of it and I won't need to call you. You know why? Because I have a gold belt in Tae Kwon Do.
{At a restaurant, eating dinner this evening}
Nate: Dad, do you think God loves the non-elect?
Dad: Well, that's a very good question and I think we could have some good discussion about that.
Nate: I mean, God said he loved Jacob and hated Esau, so does that mean he hates everyone who's not saved?
Me: Even if we were to say "yes" or "no" to that question, I don't think our human understanding of the words "love" and "hatred" can fully define the way---
Shelley: Well, here's what I think. I think that if God chose us before the foundation of the world-- [furrows brow] I totally forgot what I was going to say. [scratches head] Man, and I had something really good to say!
Mom: You're getting blonder every day, honey.
{Tonight, right before Mom went to bed}
Dad: Okay kids, everybody come in here for prayer time!
[All of us run into Dad and Mom's room and gather on or around their bed]
Dad: Our main prayer tonight is obviously for Mom's surgery tomorrow. It's not the most major surgery in the world, but still, it's surgery.
Mom: Right John, not major?! They're putting a dead guy's bone inside my leg!
Nate: Mom you should be happy. That guy's memory will live on inside of you!
Dad: Yeah, like when they do the eye transplants and people start seeing visions of what the dead guy saw!
Beth: Or heart transplants where every once in a while the heart will skip a beat or they'll have an emotional feeling if they're around something that relates to the dead guy.
Caleb: Mom, this pretty much means you're going to start walking like that dead guy.
Nate: Yep, pretty soon, someone's going to come up to you and say, "You walk just like someone I used to know!"
Mom: Okay, can we pray already??!!
{Tim and I are at the house, everybody else is gone. I'm getting ready to leave}
Me: Tim, I'm leaving to go pick up the kids so you'll be here alone for a little while. Will you be ok?
Tim: Yes, Sis, I'll be okay. This will be the fifth time I've been home alone.
Me: Good, I'm glad you're counting. Remember, don't answer the phone unless it's family and do---
Tim: I know, I know, don't answer the door unless it's someone from church.
Me: And call Aubrey or me if you need anything or if something bad happens. Do you know our phone numbers?
Tim: Yes, I know them. But don't worry Sis, I won't need to call you or Aubrey while you're gone. Because if someone bad comes in the house, I can take care of it and I won't need to call you. You know why? Because I have a gold belt in Tae Kwon Do.
{At a restaurant, eating dinner this evening}
Nate: Dad, do you think God loves the non-elect?
Dad: Well, that's a very good question and I think we could have some good discussion about that.
Nate: I mean, God said he loved Jacob and hated Esau, so does that mean he hates everyone who's not saved?
Me: Even if we were to say "yes" or "no" to that question, I don't think our human understanding of the words "love" and "hatred" can fully define the way---
Shelley: Well, here's what I think. I think that if God chose us before the foundation of the world-- [furrows brow] I totally forgot what I was going to say. [scratches head] Man, and I had something really good to say!
Mom: You're getting blonder every day, honey.
{Tonight, right before Mom went to bed}
Dad: Okay kids, everybody come in here for prayer time!
[All of us run into Dad and Mom's room and gather on or around their bed]
Dad: Our main prayer tonight is obviously for Mom's surgery tomorrow. It's not the most major surgery in the world, but still, it's surgery.
Mom: Right John, not major?! They're putting a dead guy's bone inside my leg!
Nate: Mom you should be happy. That guy's memory will live on inside of you!
Dad: Yeah, like when they do the eye transplants and people start seeing visions of what the dead guy saw!
Beth: Or heart transplants where every once in a while the heart will skip a beat or they'll have an emotional feeling if they're around something that relates to the dead guy.
Caleb: Mom, this pretty much means you're going to start walking like that dead guy.
Nate: Yep, pretty soon, someone's going to come up to you and say, "You walk just like someone I used to know!"
Mom: Okay, can we pray already??!!
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